Hey everyone -- I'm back. I'm not going to try to catch you up on my supposed life because that's no fun. I want to let you know that, due to the good response I got from my last email, I am going to start putting a little something on here that I call "Stoney Creek Short-Shots". The Shots will be conversations we denizens of Stoney Creek Store have in the course of our brain-numbing hours behind the counter. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoy originating them.
My first Short-Shot is called: ASSuming

On the bottom of every ones toilet seat there are 2 little nubbies -- really, it's true. Go look --- I'll wait. Did you see them? Ok, now go back and look at the seat again and notice how those 2 nubbies create a space between the bowl and the seat. What is this space for? No, you don't have to answer this one because Joe has it all figured out:
"Do you know that a very important part of our toilet is broken?" Joe asked me.
"No, what are you talking about?" I answered.
"One of the little knob things under the seat is smashed. Do you just let the seat drop down and crash against the bowl when you go in there?" He accused.
"No. I lower the seat the right way -- I don't crash it down!" I huffed.
"You mean you touch that dirty thing with your HAND!?" Joe gagged.
"Joe what do you think I am going to do with this hand while I'm on the commode? I'm not going to lick my hand or put it in my eyes or pick my nose. And I always wash my hands when I'm done so what is the big deal?"
"Ok that's just disgusting! Let me get back to my original thought. Do you know what those little knobs are for on the bottom of the toilet seat?"
"No I don't. But I bet you do!"
"You're right! Do you notice how those knobs make a space between the bowl and the seat? Do you know what that space is for?"
Brian was with us at this time and he volunteered, "It's so you don't create a vacuum with your ass directly against the bowl."
"Nope, that's not it but it is close."
"Well, I don't have a clue so why don't you just tell me."
"It's so obvious -- it's a flash suppressor!" he practically chortled.
Looking at him dumbfounded I had to ask, "What the hell is a flash suppressor!"
"It provides the space you need between your butt and the bowl to allow gases to escape during your business in there so that your ass isn't blown off the commode and into the tub! Whoever thought of that little space was a genius!"
And because I don't know where to begin to look for info on this type of stuff I have to ASS-ume he is right!
By the way, does anyone know what those 2 little nubbies are really called?

Suck-trocious!

Sorry I have not been on here to write recently. I want to put somethng on here for Pricilla but I will warn you the wound pics may be too much for you. That will be another day though. My head is sad lately and I can't seem to shake it off. I will keep trying though. Also can't add an image right now until they fix the site. Suck-trocious!

Remembering Donnie - Still love you and miss you my friend





Sunny days seem to hurt the most,


I wear the pain like a heavy coat,


I feel you everywhere I go.


I see your smile, I see your face,


I hear you laughing in the rain,


I still can't believe you're gone.





It ain't fair; you died too young,


Like a story that had just begun,


But death tore the pages all away.


God knows how I miss you,


All the hell that I've been through,


Just knowing no-one can take your place.


And sometimes I wonder,


Who you'd be today.





Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams?


Settle down with a family;


I wonder, what would you name your babies?


Some days the sky's so blue,


I feel like I can talk to you,


And I know it might sound crazy.





...........................





Sunny days seem to hurt the most,


I wear the pain like a heavy coat,


The only thing that gives me hope is I know


I'll see you again someday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Who You'd Be Today
Kenny Chesney

We Remember

Literally in Stitches

When you have kids life is never dull. Today Matt got his first stitches. He was sitting on his swing set and it gave way. The swing set is made of wood (Pappy and Uncle Tim built it when Matt was 2) and it has served all of G'ma's greatgrandkids well. But it was old and falling apart and decided to do it while Matt was on it. The wood beam broke and the sharp end came down on his left foot, taking a chunk of Matt's foot out with it. I got the call at work and got Barb and Joe to take over the store while I went with Matt and Pap to War Memorial Hospital. Dr. MacLaughlin put 5 stitches in the foot and said Matt will have a halfmoon scare. Matt did not cry during the cleaning, numbing or stitching (which he said was a breeze because his foot was numb!) and he watched everything the doctor did. I, myself, felt a bit "bottom-outie" watching the doctor hold the skin up and poke that curved needle through each time! Thank goodness the wound wasn't on his hand or I would have been on the floor!

So as of now soccer is out for a while; maybe for the fall season. School starts on Monday, Aug. 27, and I have to figure out how to have Matt go to school without a shoe on one foot. He is hopping around and he said he wished the doctor had given him one of those huge needles of numbing stuff to bring home for the pain. Matt has a real appreciation of Novocaine now.

Let The Little Girl Dance!

Pricilla Jade, 9 1/2 months, is "truckin'"! She's up on those chubby feet and on the move! Well, some of the time -- the rest of the time she does Mowgli's elephant walk from The Jungle Book (Disney cartoon edition). Since it has been cool up here for the past week Jess has been putting clothes on her and she hates crawling with anything on her legs so she "Mowgli's" along fussing all the way.

These are her nicknames: WooWoo, Scooter, Girlie, Woozilla (when she knocks down Bubber's blocks).

She is a real charmer, very impatient and with a temper! And a great appetite -- she eats positively everthing! When she sees food she says, "Num-num-num-num-num....." and licks her mouth like she's getting ready for a feast. Right now I am in the process of teaching her not to hit, pull hair or bite. Especially her Bubber. And I am teaching her to be gentle -- Ahhh-uhh-ahhhh, Baby (or Cissy or Fuzzy or Bubber...whoever applies). When she jumps into my arms she now puts her head on my shoulder and says, "Ahhhhhhhhhh...". She's learning. Oh, and she loves music! She plays the keyboard and sings to me and dances with me. And believe it or not, she likes to hear me sing.

Love Stinks

Last night we had a distant visitor. Evidently there was a polecat out looking for some stinky love. At first I thought I could take the faint odor of Pepe and still sleep but I was wrong. I had to close the sliding glass door after all -- I sure didn't want to have Pepe and his lady coming in the house with me!

Foot Falls

Well now, Aug. 12 was a really sucky evening for me. I stepped down wrong (I guess) on my right foot and something went "SNAP"! Immediate intense pain! I thought I had broken my foot. Kati was there with me and she looked at it and said it was a stretched muscle or ligament. Thank goodness it was at the end of the night. I am babying my foot until it decides to work again and it is coming along fine. I'll only gimp for a little while.

I have more birthdays coming in this month of August. My little brother, Bill, who will be 52 and my little sister, Bonnie, who will be 48. Also my BFF Bea is turning 53! Where have the years gone? Happy Birthday guys!

Birthday Wishes

Today is my Matty's 7th birthday - Happy Birthday, Buddy!

Today is also my Toto's 44th birthday - Happy Birthday, Toto!

One of them likes Spider Man and one hates all spiders.

Hmmm, can you guess which one is which?

My wish for Matty: For all the love and joy you have brought

into my life I bless you and I hope it comes back to you 1000 fold!

My wish for Toto: ...would you settle for a french fry...for now...

Things unseen

. . . of sunshine and wide air

and winged things,

give evidence of

things unseen . . .